Celebrating Intercultural Love Stories Through Our Clients

I often get asked by my couples about honouring lost loved ones at your wedding without making the occasion sad. So, I thought I would share some ideas.

Pictures:

It is always nice to see pictures of ones we have loved and lost. A display of photographs is a small but respectful way of remembering loved ones. It can help other guests to acknowledge their memory and, in a small way, make them a part of the special occasion.  

Consider a collage of photographs in a large frame or individual framed pictures on a table somewhere they can easily be seen. These can be moved between the ceremony and the reception, or you can have different ones in different places. Dress the table of photographs and make it a feature, or have the collage on a decorated easel so it blends with your décor. Wording on the collage or in its own frame will help to draw attention. For example: “Remembering our loved ones who are not with us today”.

Music:

You could consider playing a favourite song or songs of your loved one(s) at a key moment, such as during an aisle walk, entrance or exit.  It could be a song they liked to listen or dance to, or one that holds memories, such as a celebration. Or it could be as simple as picking a song you liked to listen to together or that makes you think of them. Not everyone at your wedding may understand the significance of the song, but that is ok, as you will!

Bouquet Ornaments:

There are many of these widely available. Many can be personalised with pictures and words that enhance your bouquet, flower girl basket or ring cushion. They can be attached to these items and then kept as a memory of your day for years to come.

My Story:

In the few years before our wedding, I sadly lost my two grandads and then my dad.  At the time we got married it was three years that we have lived without him, so it was still very raw for my family.

I wanted to honour my dad on our big day so it would feel as though he was part of everything we did. He would have been so proud and would have loved walking me down the aisle if he could. I asked my uncle (my dad’s younger brother) to do me this honour and he was more than happy to agree.

I made a frame containing pictures of my dad and grandads and displaying this wording: “We know you would be here today if heaven wasn’t so far away”.  We placed it at the entrance to our ceremony room so everyone would walk past them and remember them as the day commenced, and later had the frame moved to the reception room so our loved ones could keep an eye on everything!

During the ceremony my daughter – our flower girl and my dad’s youngest granddaughter, walked down the aisle to the song to which we had laid him to rest. He was a very patriotic Grenadian, and the song was “Sweet Grenada” by Sabrina Francis.  As our daughter walked, she dropped petals as many flower girls do. But, instead of choosing petals that were in keeping with our colour scheme, she scattered red, gold and green ones – the colours of the Grenadian flag. She also carried a three-way memorial attached to her basket that contained pictures of my three lost loved ones.

I carried a memorial on my bouquet with my dad’s picture on it and the words “walk with me today dad”.  I felt so proud holding It  and it helped me to feel he was there with me as I walked.

Then, throughout the day, we played lots of the music chosen from my mum and dad’s wedding videos some 38 years previously, including for our first dance.

They were all also mentioned in the various speeches, with funny stories and reasons to remember them fondly.

It was a great day, and we felt they were all there with us.

If you would like more ideas on how to honour your loved ones on your big day please reach out. I would love to help.

Photography by: Murray Clarke Photography